Outtakes
by LoveyHowl
Summary: Outtakes I'd wish I'd seen during the confusion,disjointed-awesomeness and hilarity that was "Let's Get Out Of Here".


I own nothing.

True Blood S4

Outtakes—"Let's Get Out Of Here"

* * *

><p>Dream Sequence:<p>

Int: Day—Sookie's House.

_Eric and Sookie kiss passionately in her entryway. _

Suddenly Eric pushes Sookie away from himself, holds her at arms length, looks her up and down, flicks his wrist and screws his face up in utter disbelief and shock.

Alexander/Eric (lisping): Black shoes? Really, girlfriend?

Director (Off Set—angrily): Cut!

* * *

><p>Dream Sequence:<p>

Int:Day—Sookie's Dining Room

_Sookie sits on the dining table in a sexy pose, poised between Eric and Bill as they fight over her._

Alexander/Eric (standing, ready to attack Bill): Sookie's mine!

Anna/Sookie (looks at Eric): Eric, don't...

Stephen/Bill (stands, ready to attack Eric): Bullshit! She's mine!

Anna/Sookie (looks at Bill and Eric): Guys, I don't want you two fightin' over me, please...

Alexander/Eric (looking menacingly at Bill): I'm ten times your age...

Stephen/Bill (Stephen forgets his line and flubs it): Yeah, and...you're a lot fuckin' taller than me, you bastard!

Director (Off Set—not amused): Cut!

* * *

><p>Dream Sequence:<p>

Int:Day—Sookie's Dining Room (Re-Take)

_Sookie sits on the dining table in a sexy pose, poised between Eric and Bill as they fight over her._

Alexander/Eric (standing, ready to attack Bill): Sookie's mine!

Anna/Sookie (looks at Eric): Eric, don't...

Stephen/Bill (stands, ready to attack Eric): Bullshit! She's mine!

Anna/Sookie (looks at Bill and Eric): Guys, I don't want you two fightin' over me, please...

Alexander/Eric (looking menacingly at Bill): I'm ten times your age...

Stephen/Bill: And I love her twenty times as much...

_Both men stare each other down..._

Before Anna can get her line out, Stephen and Alexander jump away from the table and assume fencing stance; each man holds up one arm and with the other hand grabs at his genitalia.

Alexander/Eric: En Garde!

Stephen/ Bill: En Garde!

Both men proceed to stage a mock dick fight.

Director (Off Set—pissed): Cut!

* * *

><p>Dream Sequence<p>

Int:Day—Sookie's Living Room.

_Bill, Sookie and Eric are kissing passionately on the couch. Bill and Eric stand as Sookie lowers herself between them and disappears from view._

Stephen/Bill: So, _Eric_, who are your picks, man?

Alexander/Eric: Greg Olsen, dude...he managed 41 catches for just over 400 yards and five touchdowns—can't go wrong with that...you, _Bill_?

Stephen/Bill: I'm liking DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart, even though I think Stewart will get more goal line carries, easy.

Anna/Sookie (off camera): Are you freakin' kiddin' me? Fantasy football? Now?

Director (Off Set—totally loses it): The Hell? Cut!

* * *

><p>Dream Sequence<p>

Int:Day—Sookie's Living Room.

_Bill, Sookie and Eric are kissing passionately on the couch. _

Joe/Alcide sneaks on set, joins the threesome and begins fondling _Sookie_. _Bill_ and _Eric_ open their eyes when they realize someone else is in the mix, push _Sookie_ off the couch and go for him.

Stephen/Bill: Alcide, it's you I've wanted all along...

Alexander/Eric: He's mine!

Stephen/Bill: He's mine!

Director (Off Set—yelling and turning purple): Cut! Joe, get off the set, God Dammit!

* * *

><p>Int:Night—Marcus' Garage.<p>

_Tommy has shifted into Sam and arrives at Marcus' garage for a confrontation, where he finds Marcus and four other werewolves waiting for him._

Dan/Marcus: Now, screwing another man's wife, well, that's one thing...but looking him in the eye and lyin' about it—

Sam/Tommy-Sam: I ain't lyin'...I ain't touched her...can't say the same about my brother, though—cuz he had her every which way...told me she was sweet, too...

Dan/Marcus: Not as sweet as me...

All the _werewolves_ except _Alcide_ converge on _Tommy-Sam_ and begin to grope and kiss him.

Director (lividly): Cut! Is everybody on this fucking set insane? Cut, I said!

* * *

><p>Dream Sequence<p>

Int:Day—Sookie's Living Room.

_Bill, Sookie and Eric are kissing passionately on the couch. _

Anna/Sookie: Guys? Someone is watching us...

Stephen/Bill: Who?

Anna/Sookie: That guy over there...

Alexander/Eric: I think he wants some of this.

Anna/Sookie: I think you're right..

The three actors run off set over to the Director and begin to "molest" him.

Director (laughing despite himself): Cut! Get the fuck off me! Alan!


End file.
